April Fool's

Today brought me a letter in the mail that really should have been an April Fool's joke. Sadly, it was not. I have been working non-stop for the last four days on a project that went awry but was ultimately completed on time so it's been stressful to say the least. Add to that people not doing their jobs and well, it's not been a delightful time. But I got through it and was feeling a bit better about things today.

Then the letter. It from the Diocese of Manchester, NH. The Diocese? As a former Catholic seeing the word Diocese on the envelope was enough to make me break out in hives or want to sin immediately

My ex-husband is getting remarried finally. I am indeed happy for him and wish him happiness and wedded bliss. I also wish to not be remotely involved. He has always been a needy person and required more from me than me from him. It has not changed in our many years apart. We are friends but I really was not the one for him to ask advice about how to propose. My stepmother thinks he's being remarkably insensitive and it's a valid point. It's actually more he's a bit clueless.

Anyway, his fiancee comes from a very Catholic family (the kind that go to Church everyday). To appease her family they are to be wed in a Catholic church. This is where things get tricky. Seems the little matter of our non-denominational marriage is causing him an issue. He's not willing to annul it (neither am I) so he's been jumping through crazy hoops to ensure he can have his wedding there.

First came the request for a copy of my baptismal certificate. Mine. Seems since we were both baptized part of the hurdles for his wedding involve dragging my religious history into it.

So fine, baptism certificate. I found that horribly intrusive. I should have known better as I hadn't seen anything yet.

The letter today contained seven questions I need to write essay responses to and then mail back in two weeks. Oh, they mentioned I could use the handy SASE they provided. Damn church didn't even do that.

The questions range from the obvious (what is my full name, what religion was I baptized) to the inane (did we have permission from the church to marry outside the church, was the marriage ever blessed). I should mention here that my ex is an atheist so nothing remotely religious occurred in our wedding ceremony which was fine with both of us as I ceased being a Catholic in my teens.

The best question is "Was there a sacred rite performed by a priest?" My initial answer was to put "goat and virgin sacrifices" but I'm guess that's not what they are looking for.

I am again stunned by the invasion of privacy and am in the dangerous (for my ex) position of being all fired up from work, have the ability to write well, have a bit of free time and a grudge. As someone who has known me for a long time, you'd think he'd be worried and remember this is a combination akin to dynamite.

When I asked him about the essay questions today he played dumb "I thought they were just sending you something to confirm your address". Sure thing and I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. He also helpfully added "thanks for doing this". I did point out I hadn't done it yet. If he can live with the hypocrisy of pledging his love and faith in something he doesn't even believe in to make his fiancee happy that's his business. But to keep involving me is not right. Oh and the best part is that he said his priest said that most exes get pissed about this letter. Sounds just like the Catholic church to me. Is it puzzling? Does it make no sense and piss people off? Then let's keep doing it. If it were possible for me to be even less Catholic that I currently am, this letter would do it.