Men

I will first start this post by saying that I love men. My best friend is a man. My travel buddy is a man.

But I had time to think in the eternal traffic on the ride home and here is my list of beyond puzzling, lame men-isms.

"I find you intimidating." This was said by a man five minutes before our third date. By intimidating he actually meant that I was taller than him. I didn't have a growth spurt between dates 1 and 2. Ok.

"So do you want to have children?" Normally that's not a bad question. On a blind date within the first 5 minutes is really wrong.

"I love that you have your own life." Said by a man who promptly starting to complain that I was too busy for him. What he meant was that my busy life was fine, until it became clear that I was not sitting around twiddling my thumbs when he was not around.

"Oh, you have cats." I knew this one from work. Pictures of said cats were on my desk. They came up in conversation. I pointedly asked him, and most everyone who is coming to my house, if he was allergic to cats. It is not my fault he didn’t pay attention. I did take pity when his face started to swell and drove him to CVS for Benadryl which is not my idea of a good date.

"I have four children." Ok. Good for you. "By three different women." Whoa. I seriously needed another drink with this one. This would be why I do not allow my Mom to set me up on blind dates.

"I'm 65." This actually was just in conversation at an art exhibit by a man I couldn't shake. Granted I can make conversation with most anyone. But seriously? He wanted to take me to dinner. In fact his last girlfriend was my age. Really? How about that. Boy, look at the time. I really should go. Anywhere but here.

"I'm married." Our grand prize winner here. We were having a pretty good date, until he suddenly remembered one very important thing. His wife. At any point in the three months that we had known each other and flirted this could have come up. But he waits until dinner. So I did the only thing I could do - excused myself to the ladies room and called his wife. Never a good idea to give out your home number when living a double life.

I can laugh at all of these and did at the time. They just make me extremely gratful for the men in my life who are the decent, kind, generous, respectful ones.